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Sunday, February 07, 2010 / 05:23

You guys. You guys. ♥

WELCOME TO THE MOST EPIC WEEKEND SO FAR. AND IT ISN'T EVEN SUNDAY YET.

Okay. Okay. So it started on Thursday. I randomly decided to crash Spotswood and see everyone in their Year 13 glory. Wow are we all growing up! :3 Twas pretty awkward at first though since I had no idea where everyone was, so I just hung outside the music block (since it was the only place I had seen before, apart from the gym) until Matthew came and showed me to the Year 13 common room, in where there was Sheryl, Jacob, Callan and Martin playing mancala on this tiny crappy broken table. It was awesome. Jacob was just fatting in the nice big loungy chair, Sheryl was wearing a nice white collared blouse and a black skirt, Martin didn't actually have study in that line but just ditched maths or something and was wearing a red shirt, Callan was sitting, being a nana as always... it was awesome. I was in my old orangy hobo dress (whoo!). I sat down and played a very noobish game of mancala against I think Matthew? IDK. NO NO WAIT. It was against Ben. OH RIGHT AND BEN WAS THERE YES. He had his awesome "POMMINATOR" shirt on. And he was composing music by drawing random symnols and pictures on some refill. Epic. And he was noob too. That's why I won - I was noob but so was he. Yay.

Oh oh and so we pretty much just sat there for what an hour and a half (I came second spell, in which everyone had study, and then we just stayed there through interval). And we were basically just having this massive epic tournament of mancala. And Matt whipped out the BSG soundtrack and we watched the mancala tournament to Bear McCreay's EPIC EPICNESS ("The Card Game" was the track we started off with; fuck yeah). And he showed me some Dr Steel later (note to self must look that shit up.) There were a lot of familar faces there too. It was seriously Devon, but grown up. Man, makes me wish I went to Spotty. Haha and I saw Ruby there - apparently she moved to Spotty for Year 13. A surprising amount of people picked up that I wasn't supposed to be there and were giving me funny looks. Haha. Oh and Julian dropped in as well! For like a few minutes.

The bell rings and spell three starts. Matthew goes to have Year 13 Classics in a Year 12 Classics class (shaaame :P) and people disappear; etc etc. Ben and Martin are still there. And OMG I see Lisa just sitting there near the wall, with long blonde hair now. Haven't seen here since.. Devon? Westown?! Damn. So we have a quick catch up. And then boredom sets in so I whip out my deck of cards and perform my One And Only Magic Trick on Ben and it was coole XD. Then we start playing asshole with Ben, Brunette Girl, Lisa, Leo, Anthony, and Martin. Leo had a blue polo shirt on and glasses and kept playing like a slut (3, 4, ACE!), which for some reason made me respect him more. Haha. Brunette Girl and Lisa won and I think I was neutral, then vice arsehole, then arsehole. EHE. It was awesome nonetheless.

Fourth period and everyone I know is off to class. I decide to walk down to the bakery and get a masrhmellow thingy and a can of Sprite zero. Wandered around the streets for literally 45mins before walking back to the bakery to buy a chocolate sponge cake for everyone. And went next door to Blagdon Four Square to get a packet of SHORTBREAD for Yannick! YHEY! And I needed a knife to cut the cake but they only sold knives in packets of like seven, but it was just 70 cents so I bought a whole packet XD. Walked back to Spotty and we all had lunch outside the common room on the slightly vomit-smelling grass and had cake for lunch. Everyone was there. Yannick was pleased to see the shortbread methinks! and Matthew and Callan built a little tent thing with three knives and jacob's gladware lid. And then he sprinkled some grass over a slice of the cake and ate most of it. Choked on some grass at the end so left a bite. Much lulz around. Happiness. This is it.

Last spell and Callan was the only one with the study. So we just kinda wandered around. I went to the toilet. And then we almost went into the library and Martin shows up. He was looking for a physics teacher or something? IDK. So then we walked inside the library because I wanted to see it. It was quite a bit smaller than the girls' high library, but it was a) very well air-conditioned, and b) SILENT AS A DEAD FLECK OF DUST. Looked around. "Okay I'm over this place let's go."

We went back to the common room and Martin told us this weird riddle Tiffany told him. Okay, so you've got two rooms. One has three switches, and one has three lightbulbs. There is no way of communication between these two rooms. The three light switches in one room each turn on a lightbulb in the other room. You don't know which turns on which. What's the minimum number of trips between one room to the other can you make to determine which switch turns on which bulb?

The answer was one. But none of us had any clue how. So after a while of random pondering we gave up and Martin gave out some more riddles, which I think we all got. One was one about a king who set up a race for his two sons, and was like "whoever's camel crosses the finish line last wins". So they start slow, but then stop for a break and visit a wiseman. Because that's in the rules that youre allowed to - apparently. And then after that they both jump on and race off to the finish line. Question: what did the wiseman tell them? The answer is, of course, that they just switched camels. Woo.

Okay so now the bell rings and Martin Matthew Jacob and Sheryl have cleaning. I decide to just JI and go clean the library with Jacob. It. Was. Ridiculously. Easy. We ended up finished I think 40 mins early and just sat there talking about BSG. Frak yeah. After the hour was up Martin and Matthew came and JI'd and we deicde to just walk to Matthew's. We went to the diary first though and all bought ice creams 'cause it's summer and it was bloody HOT. Jacob's still got his car so he walks back to drive it, while Matt and Martin and I start walking to Matthew's house. We're nearly there and Jacob drives past, honks the horn and gives us a lift the rest of the way there. HILL! Wee.

We arrive at Matthews and have some blueberry smoothie that his mum made. It was nice. Yar. and we just sit there and talk. And then Jacob went home so we just watched an ep of BSG. It was Exodus Pt 2 I think - the one where Adama drops a frakking battlestar onto the planet! Fuck. Yes. Afterwards we were just like, let's have a movie night, so Deb packs some dinner for Martin and Matt and we go to my place, eat dinner on the lawn and walk down to the beach. Martin got reaaal dizzy spinning on those spinny things. He was still dizzy the next morning haha. My sister and I run down to the ocean to play in the water. Matt sits down and gets damp. He starts drawing Avatar-esque symbols in the sand. We deicde to go back, and stop by the showers to wash our feet. Martin toys with this button and all of the sudden this massive stream of water rains down and he gets his back wet D: rofl. That happened to my sister too. We arrive back at my place and start watching Razor, but we didn't finish it DD: haha it was pretty epic though, the spontenaeity of it all. It rocked my socks.

On Friday, the Spotty people had school, but there were as many study spells so I didn't bother to go (HEY. IT'S 6.4KM FROM HERE TO THERE, MMKAY?). But since it was Friday we felt like doing something, so after school Jacob texts everyone: "Ok meet at my house at 5 30 tonight and we will swim/go into town and eat". And so we did! Matthew, Martin and I were the only ones who turned up, but it was epic nonetheless. Watched the miniseries of BSG while waiting for people to show up. We swam for a while, which was really nice since it was so hot. I think this was about when Yannick turned up from work. Turns out he got the rest of the weekend off! YAY. FINALLY. NO MORE MONEY WHORING FOR YANNICK <3 spontinaeity =" WIN."> Irish -> Jamaican -> Indian. Yeah. And on the landing we all just started talking in Yannick's aweosme English accent. And Matthew kept defaulting to it; it was so funny. Even when we were trying to do American accents and Texan accents, Matthew kept defaulting back to Yannick. (I mean, English. But yknow, Yannick's accent > English accent. Fo sho.)

(Oh, and this is also the time when Yannick decided to ninja across the bar at the front of the stage. It really freaked me out for some reason, like how I was really freaked out when Julian was pretending to drown during 48HOURS 2009 ("drip"), and I couldn't tell if he was actually drowning or not. Although, now that I think about it, me worrying over Yannick's ninjaing was kinda out of place. He was fine lol. IDK. I was high on LOOOIFE.)

And omg - we're just about to leave when we SPOT THE TROLLEY AGAIN! It's awesome - it was still there so we played with it some more. Then I think they started to trap me in it and Matt trapped himself in it and yannick and matt were flipping it over and stuff. Ehe. Went back to Jacob's. Watched some BSG. Two episodes, I think. Yeah, we started getting bored of it and started talking about our NCEA papers, since everyone just got them back (that reminds me - I STILL haven't got mine back yet. Herm. Note to self to ask mum tomorrow.). Random convo about how the new marking system sucks, how English was, how in Bio they underlined all this stuff that was right but gave you an N anyway... haha. I guess in the midst of all this awesomeness school still existed. That's kind of a comforting thought. We're still students. We're still kids :D Yannick had to go home since his mum needed the van for work tomorrow. We went to sleep. There was this annoying ticking though - three clicks and silence. Then three clicks and silence. It was pissing me off. So Martin and I got up and investigated the origin of the mysterious clicking noise, while Matt just randomly got up and sat outside and meditated for a while. It woke up Jacob's mum. And we did shadow puppets that ate Matthew. Hee.

SATURDAY MORNING-- Kept waking in and out of consciousness. I don't remember much from that morning, cept that I realised Yannick was there, out of nowhere. Yannick and Jacob had their laptops out and were playing a game of some sorts. I remember they were trying to LAN it up, but couldn't. We had at awesome breakfast at like 10-- Jacob's mum brought out all this nice stuff: muesli, yoghurt, blueberries, apricots, cranberry juice, weetbix, milk, etc etc. Insert hardcore conversation about the awesomeness of retro games and gaming in general, most of which I did not understant at all. I should get into gaming, though I have a feeling I probably won't.

After breakfast Yannick and Jacob got back on the laptops and gamed Age of Empires. Man, that game has some great graphics. Jacob was all pro and controlled the season first. Won it in like half the time it too Yannick, who really did love his settlers :P (and Petards, fuck yeah) (no wait - that was Matthew. Ah, screw it, we all loved the Petards.) Jacob went on Dota (whatever that is). Then we took a shower and headed out into town for lunch!

On the way I was a dunce and for some reason brought my whole bag with me, so I ran back while the guys waited at the cube. On my way back to them I ran into Simon Mace, with these other randoms who just so happened to claim that the exact same trolley we found yesterday was "their trolley". Pfft. Whatever. (This was all while Matt Yannick and Jacob were taking rides in it again) Awesome.

Stopped at Center City first for some sushi and this weird rice and meat thing wrapped in a banana leaf. I'm still not 100% sure what that exactly was, but man did it taste good. Then we wandered all the way across the road to Starbucks (STARBUCK!), got some coffees and texted everyone else to come JI. Nana, of course, was all, "No I don't think so, I probably wont even get a coffee anyway". And so we're all wtf man, not this again, and he's like, "what do you want from me?!". Haha. So Jacob just does a Jacob and insults him and FOR SOME REASON IT WORKS, CALLAN DECIDES TO COME. And THAT's when we all realise, crap, we don't actually want him to come in the first place! Rofl. Oh man, we're such horrible people. I think Jacob commented some time too that we actually ruined Anthony's life, and we all just started cracking up. Oh, man, I'm going to hell. At least all my friends will be there with me :D Louise showed up too, which was awesome.

After Starbucks we went onto the foreshore and spotted the Wind Wanderers. And after time and time again of seeing those and remarking, "man, we should really get one of those sometime", this time, WE DID. And yes, it was awesome. (Haha, it's pretty funny. I kept on hitting my kneecaps on the bar things while I was pedalling, so now I have two matchy bruises on my kneecaps. Evidence of this awesome memory, yesh yesh :D) I started off with Jacob, Matthew and Yannick on the cool cart (i.e. the one that didn't have a flat tire), while Louise Callan and Martin were in the other one. We only had 20 mins with the thing so we raced out way to East End and raced all the way back. On the way we saw THE TROLLEY again, this time being ridden by some other random teens. Kudos to whoever thieved it in the first place - that trolley reall is making the rounds here and contributing to fun in general. Whoo! Hi fived some randoms too along with Jacob - as awesome as always. When we got to East End I switched carts since Louise had to go home D: Man, that flat tire really was a bitch! And Martin injured his shin and/or his ankle / his leg in general, but in the end we managed to do this ninja, kickass overtake but cutting through the grass! AND WITH LESS THAN 10 METRES TO GO THEY PASS US AGAIN. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUu but yeah that was aweosme :D

After pedalling hardcore for all that time we decided to go back to Jacob's and just hop into the pool again, which, Ill have you know, was HEAVENLY after that workout. (Yes, it counts as a workout. We're not that fit, yaknow.) Matthew for some reason wouldn't come in, even though we managed to soak his jeans. Oh and Martin and I had an arm wrestle, and he won! Dammit, all these guys are growing up. It's like 5.15pm now, and we've all had enough of the pool. We get up and we're like, so what shall we have for dinner tonight? Someone suggests McDonalds again, which, of course, instantly gets shot down. Then Jacob's all, hey - let's go to an ~actual resturant~! Yannick: "With fancy clothes!" Me:" FANCYYY!!!!" So on the spot, just like that, we decide to go to a fancy resturant. WHOO. Jacob starts throwing out resturant suggestions, and I think it was pretty quickly decided that we were going to go to Pankawalla, this Indian resturant. I rang them and booked a table for seven, and evey one ditches and meets at Jacob's at 7. Mother was being annoying again so I ended up meeting everyone at the actual resturant, and DAMN did everyone look fine. Not to be creepy or anything, but holy shit, my friends clean up good. (Um, photography folio, any one?) Oh and Sheryl's here too! w0000t

We walk in, and SHIT MY BALLS it's fancy. The tables are all shiny and the servettes are linen. Yeah. This awesome fancy waiter guy shows us to our table for seven, which is at the back of the resturant, to the right. It's so awesome cause the wall was just lined with this cough-like seating, and there was a sword and a shield hanging up near out table. I wish so badly that there were photos to look at. Everyone looked so good. Jacob was in a tshirt and shorts with a collared shirt over the top, Martin was in that black-green dress shirt he wore to that scholarship concert thing, Sheryl was wearing a black lacey-ish top and a black skirt, Yannick was in a blackish dress shirt and his badass sunglasses (THAT HE WHIPPED OFF IN A VERY BADASS FASHION LATER ON HOLY FFFFF THAT WAS COOL), Matthew was in a nice dark shirt and new dark jeans, and I was wearing my white dress I bought at Auckland. Is it weird to say this again - that I think all of my friends are really, really good looking? 'Cause damn. I was dead from the pretty.

Before we started eating Matthew did a really sweet toast, which makes me so sad and DAMMIT now I don't want to leave. Words cannot describe how much I respect, admire and adore these people. They really are the best.

We had this random flaky, floury light thing made of chickpeas (apparently) and some fried onion rings for our entree (which was delicious, yum), and Matthew and I had ordered Mango Chicken for our main. Jacob ordered the Butter Chicken, Martin ordered this dark red stuff that kind of looked like vindaloo, Sheryl ordered the hottest main out of all of us (and that's saying something in an Indian resturant!), and I'm not sure what Yannick ordered - he was too far away D:

Man oh man was that filling. I think I barely had half of it before stopping for a digestive break. Hee - while eating we were talking about our fantasy house, and how awesome it would be if we all just lived together. (AND YES. IT WOULD BE AWESOME.) Some of the things we came up with--

• Starfish shaped house from bird's eye view - with central common rooms that branch off into our own lairs
• Main central structure is just a watchtower with a winding staircase that splits off into different pathways at each "arm" of the starfish - leading you to different places in the building. The handlebars on the staircases are wide enough and built for you to just sit on and slide down
  
• Lounge is just a circular room with a semicircle couch spanning one side and a massive tv on the other wall. In the centre of the room is a fireplace that's built into the ground, so we can toast marshmellows / barbeque stuff as well. The ceiling can double as a skylight and can also be removed to serve as a chimney for the fireplace. Oh, and we need a kickass sound system. With a subwoofer that makes the walls shake. Fuck yeah.
  
• There's a balcony that goes all around the top of the main tower (because yes, there will be other towers)
• There's a sleeping room that's just filled with cushions and bean bags. So we can have a sleepover any time! :D
  
• The kitchen will have our very own sushi ninja. This may or may not just end up being Sheryl
  
• There will be an entire room filled with playpen balls
• The whole house can be connected with elaborate labrynth of tunnels and/or slides and/or flying foxes
  
• The intra-house communications systems will either be via those awesome phones on the battlestars in BSG, or via tracks and chutes like the mail system in the Earth Kingdom on Avatar: The Last Airbender
• There will be an astronomy observatory room, with 360 degree views and telescopes and stuff :D
• Personalised lairs. No, not bedrooms. We already have a sleeping room. No-- lairs.
• Jacob bags'd a basement. Matthew bags'd a tower. I bags a room with lots of wall space that I can just PAINT on. Doodle. Whatevs. Who else wants what?
  
• Omg. We need a gadgets room. Like spies have.
• Archery range plz
• Recording and mixing studio
• Pro, formal meeting rooms with large swively office chairs so you can wait for someone to walk in with your back turned to them and then swivel around and say, "I've been expecting you."
  
• A moat that doubles as our swimming pool/river around the outside of the building
• And hey - we won't be complaining if it just so happens our house turns out to be a basestar either.

I forget the rest, but I'm sure there was more. Even more epic stuff, too.

I tried to, but I just couldn't finish my main. I had ONE LICK of Jacob's butter chicken and I swear it filled me just as much as half of my mango chicken. Godsdamn. After resting a while we ordered out deserts - Sheryl got the FRIED ICE CREAM (ffff yes), Matt got the mango yoghurt ice cream while the rest of us just got these mango-yoghurt drinks. They were even harder to finish off.

The feast ended and we went to pay the bill and FUCK YEAH. $220 ON DINNER. DINNER ALONE. FUCK YES, WE ARE SO HARDCORE RIGHT NOW. We all hi-fived each other while paying the bill. IT WAS JUST THAT EPIC.

We walked out the restuarant, feeling VRY VRY SRS BZNS AND FUCK YEAH WE GAVE EACH OTHER ANOTHER ROUND OF HI FIVES AGAIN. Oh, man. Fuck. Yes.

From that point on we walked very, veerry slowly back to Jacob's, since we were all so dangerously full. We stopped at the cube and were so surprised at the sheer amount of stuff we did in the recent days - and the weekend wasn't even over yet! Damn. Spontaneousness for the mother frakking win. I think this is when we're all fully and completely wasted - Jacob's just lying on the ropes, Matthew's draped over the cube, Martin's having a sit-down, I'm wandering off in a daze; we're all humming to ourselves... and Yannick is off ninjaring somewhere. WTF. He's perfectly fine?! That fit freak! What a pro.

Rofl - I had to go to the bathroom here, at the one in that carpark. Walked over there and there were all these douchebag gangsters in cars yelling out "SHOW US YOUR TITS" Rofl, I had to try hard not to crack up.

While we're walking back Yannick, Jacob and Matt somehow got way ahead of Martin and I, and when we caught up, Yannick was lying on the floor, Jacob was crouched over on the floor vomitting, and Matthew was just laughing his fucking face off. W. T. F.

As it turns out Matthew was making spewing noises, and the Jacob followed that up with real spewing - hurling up pretty much all of his dinner. He made two piles and ROFL two random passer bys walked past - we must've looked like such drunks.

Oh - Yannick was just tired.

After making a substatial pile of vomit, Jacob picked himself up and was just, "alright now, let's leave." LOL. What a trooper.

We got back to Jacob's house (it seems almost like an HQ for us these days) and proceeded to have THE most sickest, filthiest and fucked up conversation I ever had. And I'm a pretty fucked in the head person so I'll have you know this was PRETTY WEIRD. Alright so we keep talking about our dream house, talking about all the awesome features we want, and then all of the sudden Matthew's like, "AND THEN SOMEONE SHITS ON IT".

INSTANT LULZ.

Followed up with vomitting noises, and then moar lulz. Then, every new feature we come up with for the house afterwards is followed by the phrase "AND THEN SOMEONE SHITS ON IT", vomitting sounds and masses of laughter.

What. The. Fuck.

Oh, don't get me wrong. I'll have you know I found this to be funnier than anyone else. I think we were just so wasted and stoned without the alcohol and drugs.. whoo! I don't even know what to type anymore. We somehow got onto the subject of a new genre of music where live concerts is just shitting and vomitting at the audience. Um. Yeah. It gets worse, but Imma refrain from typing anymore now.

I think that was the point when we realised just how out of it we were. Called it a night. Came home. And this was still just 11.30pm Saturday.

That was six hours ago. We've still got today left! I better go to bed.

My friends. Are. Frakking. Awesome.

Labels: anecdote, awesome, badass, dreams, friends, fuck yeah, life, love, LULZFEST, rant

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Kids, Stay In School.


“This is stupid.”

“Ya think?”

Two teens stood in the dark, one keeping a lookout while the other worked on a lock.

The roads were empty and the streetlights were out, which was for the best. However, a deafening silence rang in their ears like roaring thunderclouds on the horizon, reminding them that sooner or later, someone would awaken.

“Dammit, I can’t see a thing. You got a torch on you?” The lock-picker whispered, voice brimming with frustration. The other teen rolled her eyes.

“Of course - I always bring my torch with me. Along with my First-Aid kit and diorama collection.”

The neighbourhood was obviously suffering from a blackout. There is night - when it is dark and hard to see. True darkness, the total and complete absence of light, makes the skilled lock-picker a blind rat, and forces her to feel around for the lock after every failed try.

Suddenly, a small snap rang through the shadows. The lock-picker took a step back from the door as she swore under her breath.

“You better have another hairpin along with that collection of yours - this one just broke,” she announced as she prodded her partner in crime with the sharp end of the broken pin, as if it confirm that she wasn’t lying. “Oi, I’m outta ammo here.”

A small grumble came from the other teen, followed by the sound of various items being shoved around as a hand waded through them, searching with increased agitation.

“What do I look like, Hammer Hardware?”

“Hammer Hardware doesn’t sell hairpins. C’mon Lisa, they’re going to be awake and full of caffeine soon. Lisssaaaa.”

“MJ,” Lisa mock-whined back.

Mary-Jane shuffled around impatiently while rubbing her arms. The icy, pre-dawn air was subtle, but there nonetheless. Her kitten heels made little clip-clop noises against the hard, cracked cement, which echoed through the night. Stopping abruptly, she figured the racket the she was creating was very unlikely to be singing lullabies to the people inside, and was very likely to be earning more death-glares from Lisa.

“Aha!” Lisa plucked a small, thing object from her handbag and held it in the air like a trophy.

“Gimme!” MJ’s voice snapped through the empty streets like bombs exploding on a mini-golf course. Spontaneous windmill combustion. It happens.

“Shhh!” Lisa flailed her arms about wildly as she scanned the streets for movement. Her head snapped back to face MJ, who had now covered her mouth with both hands, eyes wide in shock.

Frozen in place, both girls could hear their blood racing through their ears. MJ held the hairpin tighter in her damp, clenched fist. Senses now heightened, both could detect the slightest movement.

And they did.

Their hearts skipped a beat when a single floorboard creaked inside the house.

Crap. Caught. Neither dared to breathe.

A few more moments of uncertainty hung in the silence before Lisa decided it was safe to breathe, and then threw a fist at MJ.

“Sorry.” MJ whimpered with a sheepish smile. Quietly turning to avoid the mental darts that were being hurled in her direction, MJ soon realized that she didn’t have to reach out like a blind man. She could even make out a dim outline of the lock. Dawn was approaching.

Lisa sensed this too as MJ expertly inserted the pin in the lock, and continued working. Looking up, Lisa could define the telegraph wires from the murky, blue-grey backdrop. A gust of wind swept through the streets as the trees danced and the sky howled. Lisa’s limbs were numb and stinging from the cold. She began shifting anxiously.

“MJ, I swear, if you don’t hurry up, I’m gunna take that pin and sh-”

“Oh ho!” Mary-Jane gave a small laugh, careful not to be too loud. “You’re going to try and pick this? After knocking back shots of vodka in glasses made by elephants, I’m surprised you’re even conscious.”

Lisa raised an eyebrow. “Elephants?”

“Elephants, giraffes, industrial trucks; it’s a metaphor - work with it.” MJ shot back. “You know - ‘go with the flow’.”

“Funny coming from someone who doesn’t even know how to have fun.”

“I have fun.”

“Yeah, I heard you had some planned for July.”

MJ stayed silent as she found the right groove to press inside the lock,

“You, on the other hand -” she started with a slight grunt as she tried getting the pin further into the lock, “- are completely borderline irresponsible.”

“Yeah right,” Lisa muttered as she took a seat on the steps.

“Your lips say no - your shoes, on the other hand, say yes.”

“They’re French; can’t believe a word they say.”

Ever so slowly, with almost microscopic care, MJ began turning the pin in the lock. Lisa rolled her eyes.

“You know, Beckett was going to call his play Waiting for MJ to Pick the Damn Lock, but thought it was a bit too dull.”

“Wasn’t Beckett French?”

“Well -”

Click.

Both parties shut up quickly as MJ slowly opened the door and tip-toed in. Lisa soon followed suit, then shut the door ever so carefully behind her.

“Next time we sneak out, remember the damn key.” MJ whispered as she made her way down the hallway.

“What? You were the one who forgot.”

MJ gave a slight look of irritancy.

“I was right; this was stupid.”

“Hey, you’re the slow-poke, taking hours to pick a single lock.”

“I am not a slow -”

“It’s a metaphor.” Lisa stood in the comfort of her own room and began to shut the door.

“Work with it.”

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You guys. You guys. ♥ Sealing the Time Capsule. 48HOURS 2009!! And here we go again. That's a wrap! Now to symbolise my academic and personal rebirth ... spend too many hours watching manufactured realiti... Christmas at the Bowl 2008! :( OMFG I JUST WATCHED SIN CITY IT IS AWESOME

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R a m b l i n g s ;


Hear thee, hear thee pouring rain
Why must the sky weep so?
Only to soak and drown in vain
In pools of tears and woe.


As droplets fall from the heavens above
Into the world below
It rests in hopeful spirits
For there to be a rainbow.


We are but mere mortals
Mere against our world
And though we think and read and write
We discover unlikely pearls


Like a little thing called love
Only a fraction of our lives
And yet could strike down the greatest man
Through its piercing eyes.


For love is like the passing wind
To be free - and yet to belong
An unseen spirit that comes and goes
Accompanies the winter's song.


And when we die - that very same wind
That filled our souls with beautiful lies
Will come in truce, and finally, then,
Carry our ashes to the skies.

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S l e e p


Sleep, child, and dream
for night is dark and sweet
be not a soldier of the living day
to fall, to fear and weep

Spin, child, a cobweb
of kingdom and a throne
cathedral slant of eternal light
hung on this new home

Fade, child, away
for you live now within your mind
to be captive, but content
drinking immortal wine

Now wake child, and see
a life you used to know
of innocence, rebellion,
euphoria, resignation,
clarity, stupor,
and then the letting go.


And sleep.

___________________ ____________ _____ _____

\\blogspot\schen\stats

Currently I'm...
feeling:          AWESOME
wearing:          AWESOME
listening to:     COMPUTER HUM (WHICH IS AWESOME)
reading:          SOME QUANTUM SHIT (THAT'S AWESOME)
watching::        MY OWN AWESOME TYPING
consuming:        AWESOME MEDALS VIA IV INJECTIONS
wanting:          NOTHING BECAUSE EVRYTHING'S AWESOME
chatting to:      DEATH.

___________________ ____________________ _ ____________________

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Time Is A Fixed Constraint, But Sometimes I Wish It Wasn't.


5.

Falling had always been a familiar sensation in dreams; comforting, even. The knowledge that one could defy the realities of fear, pain and even death itself sat alongside the sharp, and yet somehow, gentle wind, reminding one that there was nothing beneath for support, and nothing above to hang on to.

If one were to embrace all these sensations and just forget, then maybe, just maybe, one will reach a state of weightlessness and be at peace with the world.


4.

The cliff-edge was supposed to be a dare of sorts. Both where living their days over and once again, and needed the fear; the adrenalin --

(You scared? She was ten steps out.
You suicidal? He was nine steps behind.
Only in the mornings.
Oh, well that's okay then.)

-- rush. The overwhelming overload of the senses to remind them that they were still youthful (and alive).

(Race ya to the top?
If you don't mind getting beaten, sure.)


3.

They were silent in the car. But sometimes, silence isn't such a good, social thing.

(Why the hell did you rent a four-wheel-drive? He said, sounding positively pissed.
Wow, that was random. Mind filling me in on the imaginary hypothetical conversation that took place before this?

He paused.

I'm just saying, these things are dangerous.
Four-by-fours have good mileage.
Four-by-fours kill people.
Four-by-fours don't kill people, stupid; people kill people.
Sure - people driving four-by-fours.
You don't need people.
Are we still talking about the car?
Do you need people?
No.
Neither.
Good.)

Other times, silence was best.


2.

One hour and forty-five minutes after meeting --

(You're not scared? He piped up after another moment's silence.
What's there to be scared about? She kept a tight leash on her voice, as it cannot (will not) falter.

"Nothing," he lied.)

-- he knew her favourite sport, favourite food and what she wanted to be later on in life.

Dancing. Blueberry pancakes. Alive.


1.

"SHUT UP! Both of you, out!"
"But she started it-"

"I don't care! Out!"

The bus screeched to a halt, stopped, then drove off - leaving two people behind with angst-ridden faces.

Now what? The girl dropped her backpack.
It's got to be something like 10 kilometres to the next town.
Whoohoo.

He rolled his eyes.

Oh - look at the time, he said without bothering to look at his watch, I really have to get going.
Wait up - I'll come with.

Another eye roll.

Look, you're annoying and you got us thrown off the bus. Now go away.

She pouted.

Has anyone ever punched you lately?
It's been a month. Two more weeks and I win a set of steak knives!
Not if I have anything to do with it.
Ow!

She laughed as he protested further.

"Go away!"


0.

Falling had always been a familiar sensation; comforting, even.

It didn't matter how it happened; just that it happened. It was not like how it always is in books and movies - time does not slow down. It's a simple trip, a simple fall; a simple end. Your life does not flash before you. There simply is no time. No time to focus on the past; nor any time to think of the future. All there is, is a moment. A moment of bittersweet emotions and familiar sensations. Of nothing above and nothing below. Of weightlessness. No thoughts. Just peace.

She did not have time to react. No time to scream out his name or make a desperate grab at thin air. All she could do is crawl towards the cliff edge (oh please, please, please not him, not him, not there, not fallen, no,) and look.


"It wasn't supposed to be like this." She couldn't bring herself to say.

"I know." He didn't reply.

____________________ _________ _____________ _____

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New Zealand: Clean, Green, Polluting Machine; Choose Two.

Out along the beautiful and unpolluted beaches of New Zealand are friends, families; lying in the sun and breathing in the cool, fresh air – taking a much needed rest after their flight with Air New Zealand, or Qantas, depending on which brochure you’re reading.

Our country's 'clean and green' image does wonders for our exporting and tourism industries. However, the rise of a hot new topic, global warming, has forced us all to consider: are acts of propaganda in play? Is this statement still valid? How do we know who to trust? Is there any way I could cash in on this?

"But Serena! I reduce, reuse and recycle everyday! Plus, my front lawn is totally clean and green and very well trimmed! How dare they question our image!"

Well, you are not alone. There is a group of people who are not politicians, but are still questioning the validity of 'global warming'. They suggest that global warming was an idea concocted by government officials to fool the public and keep them under control. I'm not sure how panic equals control, but hey, who knows what the men in suits feed themselves with these days.

With all these different views and opinions, it can be confusing, and sometimes traumatizing; to research, investigate and pull apart truth from lies, and make an informed decision. I advise therapy. For those who are much too cheap to afford it, read on.

The Facts

It was mid-2003 when Statistics NZ released its shiny new Energy, Economy and Emissions report. The highlights in change between 1997 and 2003 include:

- New Zealand's total carbon dioxide emissions have increased by over 21%
- Total carbon dioxide and nitrous oxide emissions increased at a pace greater than economic growth (as measured by the GDP)
- The petroleum and chemical industries were New Zealand's most energy intensive.
- Emissions from refining petrol increased by over 27%
- New Zealand's food and beverage industry's carbon dioxide emissions increased at a rate greater than its contribution to our economy
- The mining industry's carbon dioxide emissions went up by 20%
- The fishing industry's energy demand and carbon dioxide emissions increased at a rate greater than its contribution to our economic growth

"So what does it all mean?"

In two words: bad news. Our greenhouse emissions are clearly rising at quite an impressive speed. This constant but booming rise is further confirmed by the NZ Meteorological Service's 1991 Emissions report, in which that shows New Zealand's carbon dioxide levels increasing over 25% since the 18th Century. Also, our methane emissions have more than doubled.

In addition, households were found to be the largest users of energy, accounting for approximately 32% of total consumer demand. Energy import volumes (crude oil, refined petroleum oils and coal) increased by nearly 48%, while the proportion of consumer demand of non-renewable resources increased to nearly 82%. Our energy use per capita has also risen by 13%.

Furthermore, the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development's (OECD) 2007 Environmental report for New Zealand shows that our GDP has risen a whopping 30% in the last decade (yay). Our carbon dioxide and nitrous oxide levels, however, are rising faster than that (nay). Long story short; we pollute air faster than we get rich.

In 2003, households - from the use of private motor vehicles alone - emitted 78% of total carbon monoxide emissions. Now let me tell you something about carbon monoxide - it's crazy-scary stuff. It is so scary; I've pulled it out of the footnotes altogether and given it a paragraph to itself. Yeah, wow.

Not only is carbon monoxide a greenhouse gas, it is too, a suffocating gas like its brother, carbon dioxide. Only difference? It's worse - much, much worse. You know how "you can't live without love"? Oxygen is even more important. As carbon monoxide enters the bloodstream, it kicks off the oxygen molecules and hitch-hikes a free ride on the red-blood cells, eventually suffocating the body. During this, the body turns a cherry pink colour. You sure wouldn't want this stuff floating in the air.

"Okay, okay - we get it. Our environment is heading downhill and deteriorating fast. But no way are we as bad as larger countries; i.e., the United States."

Yes, in fact, you would be correct. According to the CIA World Factbook, New Zealand only ranks as the 62nd highest country of oil consumption. For natural gas consumption, we are ranked 60th.

Even though we emit 8.6 tonnes of carbon dioxide per capita (according to the OECD Environmental Data Compendium 2004), our 75.09 million tonnes of greenhouse gases can hardly compare with USA's staggering 7067.57 (million tonnes).

The plain truth is, we are in a country of four million (versus the 6.6 billion - the approximate world population estimated for July 2007), with 268,680 square kilometres of land (versus the 510,072,000 square kilometres in the world) - there is only so much we can affect. One cannot deny the fact that if you light a bonfire in New Zealand today, the world will not flood tomorrow.

Putting it in Perspective

So, is New Zealand's clean and green image true or false?

Answering this question correctly all depends on which way you view it. If one is comparing New Zealand's environment to that of the rest of the world, the yes, we are undoubtedly "cleaner". Also, whatever horrible substances that we could emit, probably won't do much damage at all on a global scale (unless we tried really, really hard).

However, this doesn’t mean that we truly are ‘clean and green’ - it just means that everyone else is, well, dirty and… brown. Compared to how our country used to be, it's clear that our environment is indeed growing more problematic. This needs to be addressed.

To put it simply, environmentally on a world-wide scale: we rock. We are the clean-and-green New Zealand and nothing can stop us! Nothing but ourselves, of course. Our image does not excuse us from our duty to save our environment.

Off those couches you go!

Saving the World 101

Climate change is funny in that there'll be all these people debating over who's right or wrong, plus all these other people who are just simply befuddled. Then there'll be all these riots, stampedes and Internet discussion forums going crazy. Meanwhile, it's raining acid and the ice caps are melting! Oh, and Mars is laughing at us too.

"But that's horrible! How on Earth can we stop it?"

Glad you asked, as I have compiled a simple, foolproof, 9-step guide to save the world.

Step 1: Reduce, reuse and recycle. If you have never heard of this before, then shame on you.
Step 2: Change a light bulb. Heck, change them all. But make sure to change your regular incandescent to a compact fluorescent light bulb (CFL). CFLs last 10 times longer than incandescent bulbs, but use two-thirds less energy. Nifty.
Step 3: Insulation is your friend. Then you don't have to use so much power on heating the massive fridge (a.k.a. your house in winter).
Step 4: Turn off that air conditioning! Too hot in summer? Ah, yes, but that's why God invented windows.
Step 5: Hot water is for wimps. Okay, I'm not saying "NEVER HAVE A HOT SHOWER EVER AGAIN", but do cut down on hot water usage in general.
Step 6: The holy "off" switch. Amazingly, that "use it or lose it" saying only goes for your brain and your muscles. Your appliances, however, could use a break.
Step 7: Energy-efficient and environmentally-friendly products are totally radical. Avoid products that come with excess packaging.
Step 8: Plant a tree. In fact, plant three.
Step 9: Walk/bike/scooter/roller-skate whenever possible. Driving a car to school when it’s only a couple of blocks down the road is like sending a text message to a friend who is already in the same room.

"Foolproof?"

Well, foolproof if you get each and every person in the world to do the same thing. It's a bit like that trick with influencing the Earth's spin - if you get each and every person in the world to jump at exactly the same time, there's bound to be some disturbance.

"But how is this jumping relevant to global warming?"

Funny, you always seem to ask the right questions.

Global warming is exactly what its name suggests: it is a global process. Thus, reversing this process will also require global effort. Getting our (and not just our country's but our world's) climate back to the status quo will require the co-operation of every country.

Even though our 'clean and green' image is technically true compared to other countries, it is not true compared to our past, and does not excuse us in any way of helping put a halt to (or at least slow down) climate change. We may be the "clean and green" New Zealand, but our environment needs protecting.

Now go hug a tree or something.

_______________________ _ __________________ _____________

\\blogspot\schen\chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?


DR. PHIL :
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH :
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH :
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here!!

COLIN POWELL :
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY :
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE :
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

MARTHA STEWART :
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS :
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY :
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL :
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boy-cott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA :
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS :
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON :
Imagine all the chickens, crossing roads in peace; eeee EEE eee-eee eee.

ARISTOTLE :
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES :
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ....... 'Reboot'.

ALBERT EINSTEIN :
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON :
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.

___ ________ _________ ___

\\blogspot\schen\soundtrack

Opening Credits: Massive Attack - Everywhen

Waking Up: Delta Goodrem - Born to Try, Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning, Aqua - Good Morning Sunshine, Massive Attack - Protection

First Day At School: OMG - How Bizzare, Hairspray - The Nicest Kids in Town, Relient K - Chap Stick, Capped Lips and Things Like Chemistry,

Falling In Love: Damien Rice - Delicate, Gwyneth Paltrow & Huey Lewis - Crusin', A Fine Frenzy - You Picked Me, Garbage - #1 Crush, Sugarcult - Bouncing Off The Walls Again, Robbie Williams & Nicole Kidman - Something Stupid, Liz Phair - Why Can't I Breathe, Breaking Benjamin - Rain, Sixpence None The Richer - Kiss Me, Yellowcard - Only One

Fight Song: MCR - Mama, Shihad - Bullitproof, Three Days Grace - Home, Evanescence - Lies, 300 Soundtrack - The Hot Gates

Breaking Up: Three Days Grace - Gone Forever, Goodnight Nurse - My Only, Manic Street Preachers - Your Love Alone Is Not Enough, A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover, Three Days Grace - It's All Over, Delta Goodrem - Lost Without You, Linkin Park - Don't Stay

Prom: Lily Allen - LDN, Bowling For Soup - 1985, Goodnight Nurse - Death Goes to Disco

After Prom Party: KoRn - Word Up, Fast Crew - I Got, Disturbed - Stricken, Nickelback - Favourite Damn Disease, Frou Frou - Holding Out For A Hero, Goldfrapp - Crystalline Green, Patea Maori Club & Dalvanius - Poi E, Pink - U + Ur Hand, Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get Retarded, The Chemical Brothers feat. Fatlip - The Salmon Dance

Anthem: MCR - Teenagers

Life: Goodshirt - Sophie, The Corrs - All In A Day, Seether - Fake It, Spidey Soundtrack - Hero, Creed - With Arms Wide Open, Audioslave - Like A Stone, The Used - Pretty Handsome Awkward, Counting Crows feat. Vanessa Carlton - Big Yellow Taxi, Lemon Demon - The Ultimate Sowdown of Ultimate Destiny, Green Day - Jesus of Suburbia, Charlene - I've Never Been to Me, Rooster - Come Get Some

Mental Breakdown: Runescape music player, The Dresden Dolls - Girl Anachronism, Eminem - Just Lose It

Breaking Out of Jail: Chicago - Cellblock Tango, Nickelback - Savin' Me, Evanescence - Eternal, Lemon Jelly - Soft, Romeo + Juliet Soundtrack - When Doves Cry

Chase Scene: Rob Dougan - I'm Not Driving Anymore

Driving (ROADTRIP!): Radiohead - House Of Cards, Bic Runga - Get Some Sleep, Kora - Burning, Fall Out Bot - Bang The Doldrums, Michael Penn - Walter Reed, Fall Out Boy - This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race

Flashback: Alien Ant Farm - Glow, Big Brovaz - Nu Flow, Creed - My Sacrifice, Sophie Ellis Bextor - Take Me Home, Aqua - Turn Back Time, Fall Out Boy - A Little Less 16 Candles, A Little More 'Touch Me', Daniel Powter - Bad Day, Otis Redding - Pain In My Heart

Getting Back Together: Radiohead - All I Need, Seether feat. Amy Lee - Broken, Emma Bunton - What Took You So Long, The Chordettes - Lollipop, Cascada - Everytime We Touch, Tori Amos - 1000 Oceans

Taking Over The World: Garbage - The World Is Not Enough

Wedding: Shania Twain - From This Moment, Tom Jones - Thunderball, Wannadies - You And Me Song, JerryC - Canon in D (Rock Version), Goldfrapp - Black Cherry

Birth of Child: Train - Ordinary

Revisiting Old Places: The Offspring - The Kids Aren't Alright

Final Battle: Evanescence - Sweet Sacrifice, Europe - The Final Countdown, Breaking Benjamin - Unknown Soldier, 30 Seconds From Mars - From Yesterday, Dave Matthews Band - When The World Ends (Paul Oakenfield Mix)

Death Scene: Lemon Demon - The Song You Hear When You Die, Avril Lavigne - I'm With You, Vienna Boys Choir - Ave Maria, Three Days Grace - Time of Dying

Funeral Song: Massive Attack - Teardrop, Linkin Park - What I've Done, Linkin Park - Valentine's Day, Kelly Clarkson - O Holy Night, Garbage - Afterglow, Bob Marley - Three Little Birds, Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter

End Credits: Spirited Away Soundtrack - One Summer's Day, Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood, Brahms - Trio In A Minor For Viola, Cello And Piano - Op. 114 - Allegro, Arethra Franklin - Respect, Foo Fighters - DOA, Ravel - Bolero

___________________ _______________ _____________________ ______________

404.